Te nonāk viss, kam vairs nav vietas Helsas galvā

Good news

Mom just called.. she wanted for me to explain some things that’s going on in her home. I’ve not been in her home for 3 weeks.. for any normal person this call would seem strange.. for me.. I’ve been explaining a lot.

Well.. my cat Moljers for more than 2 weeks didn’t eat anything at all. Not even the most delicious things. He’s skin and bones now. My mother called Sintija, our vet, to ask what could be done.. but when she checked everything, the cat seemed to be perfectly healthy, just the fact that he looked like he’s in some kind of trance. Mother had a dream that if the cat lives.. her father will live too. Yesterday Moljers finally asked for food.
When my mother called her mother to tell about this.. my grandmother told her story. The day when my grandmother took my grandfathers clothes and stuff, she took his clock. Even though it’s electrical clock that’s not supposed to stop.. it stopped and didn’t move, till today my godmother thought it would be good idea to change the time. Not the batteries. Just the time so it shows the right one. The clock started to move again.. and it’s still working.

I said that those are good news ’cause both of them says the same thing.. he wants to live.

Then I told her about me.. the fact that my grandfather touched my shoulder on the Saturday night and that I was mistakenly thinking it was the end.
She said that the night before that she was baking a cake, in the middle of night every dog and every cat at her house ran to one of the windows and looked pretty stressed.

These two stories are not on the positive side.. ’cause well.. in our family it’s a tradition to say our goodbyes before we join the dead.  Usually it’s a sound, a tick on the window, a shadow.. I guess it was a touch for me ’cause I’d never notice anything else at the volume and the place I’m working in. Those would mean he wants to go.

But as the negative things happened before the positive ones.. it might mean he’s thinking over and over again. That could also be true. Selga said he’s down by the river, going through everything that’s happened in his life, he has to chose his own way. It’s all up to him. I’m feeling the doubts myself.. it’s a tough decision to take.. if he lives he’ll live the hard way ’cause it won’t be easy to live with one lung. If he chose to die, he won’t see his grandchildren growing up, marrying and having children, finishing school, university. When he was in hospital right before the operation he said he wanted to see just the things I mentioned here. He can be down by the river, ’cause he already confessed and as he’s religious that’s pretty important for him to get peace of mind and soul. We had to take a priest in hospital ’cause he was rambling the saint words more than he could breathe and that caused a lot of troubles.

Still.. right now everything’s turning to the bright side.. and I really hope that from now on it will get only better. C’mon, opei, you’re a strong man. You know we love you. You have to live!

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